I wish you enough ...

So much has happened ... and yes, I am more active on my facebook page than I am blogging anymore ... sorry :(

My mom just got back last Thursday/Thanksgiving from visiting her mom in the Philippines. She has been wanting to go and visit her mom whose health has not been good and who has alzheimer's but has not been able to go because of her own health issues and also because she has been worried about me and my cancer. Since I had been doing good since my last bout with cancer in April she decided it was okay for her to go and visit her mom which I am very happy she did. It was also a sad time as she went for her aunt's funeral but a happy time as she got to see many of her relatives. When she came back she noticed I had lost some weight. We went to see my doctor on Monday and had chest x-rays done ... the cancer has metastasized to my lungs. I keep telling mom everything will be okay and I remember what my friend 'M' in hospice always told us when we walked the final journey with her ... "I've had a good life." I tell mom the same thing ... "I've had a good life."

This was posted on facebook this morning and I thought it was perfect so had to share ....

I WISH YOU ENOUGH.



Recently, I overheard a mother and daughter in their last moments together at the airport as the daughter's departure had been announced. Standing near the security gate, they hugged and the mother said:

"I love you and I wish you enough."

The daughter replied, "Mom, our life together has been more than enough. Your love is all I ever needed. I wish you enough, too, Mom." They kissed and the daughter left.

The mother walked over to the window where I sat. Standing there, I could see she wanted and needed to cry.

I tried not to intrude on her privacy but she welcomed me in by asking, "Did you ever say good-bye to someone knowing it would be forever?" "Yes, I have," I replied. "Forgive me for asking but why is this a forever good-bye?"

"I am old and she lives so far away. I have challenges ahead and the reality is the next trip back will be for my funeral," she said.

When you were saying good-bye, I heard you say, "I wish you enough." May I ask what that means?"

She began to smile. "That's a wish that has been handed down from other generations. My parents used to say it to everyone." She paused a moment and looked up as if trying to remember it in detail and she smiled even more.

"When we said 'I wish you enough' we were wanting the other person to have a life filled with just enough good things to sustain them". Then turning toward me, she shared the following, reciting it from memory,

"I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright.

I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun more.

I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive.

I wish you enough pain so that the smallest joys in life appear much bigger.

I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.

I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.

I wish you enough hellos to get you through the final good-bye."

She then began to cry and walked away.

They say it takes a minute to find a special person. An hour to appreciate them. A day to love them. And an entire life to forget them.

- Author Unknown

RIP my dear friend 'M'

Since early July I have been visiting my friend 'M' in hospice. She was diagnosed with heart failure. She was the coolest friend and mom and I went to visit her at least once a week.

Check out mom's blog to read more about this wise, wise woman who called me 'Star .. Good Girl.'
http://mariloureflects.blogspot.com/2012/08/m-bright-new-star-on-blue-moon.html

I miss you dear friend .... and I'm sorry we didn't get to bring you cheeseburgers from White Castles and for mom to bring her ipod to play some classical guitar music for you. But i'm glad we had one last awesome visit and that we got to have a White Castle burger party (minus the cheese!!).

We made this video for you 'M' .... we miss you!!! :)

Stars .. the stars are calling

I went in for my 3 month cancer check up ... I gave mom a scare by eating LOTS of food (the all you can eat nung-nung buffet). She immediately took me to the vet and they got xrays done and it showed by very full belly with food and gas. They also saw an enlarged spleen which then led me to get an ultrasound the next day. But all is well .. I just have a big spleen ... yes, a big spleen for my big heart :)

Anyway, mom's been busy rescuing my friends up at Leech Lake Reservation with my auntie Jenny and lots of other cool volunteers. She decided it was time to turn Leech Lake Legacy into a non-profit/501(c)3 ... but she's always telling me that yes, it's about the animals and my friends but it's about so much more .. it's about people, it's about our relationships, how we connect, it's about community ... she's got big dreams of what Leech Lake Legacy will do with the help of the community. She's been reading of lot of books by Margaret Wheatley so I thought I'd share a Margaret Wheatley poem titled 'Stars' since Ahnung means star in ojibway and it talks so much about what she's trying to create through Leech Lake Legacy.

Stars

In places where air still offers clarity,

stars sing a siren song from space

in the bright night.

Lying on soft earth,

carried into sky by longing,

humans respond to stars

with questions. Why is the Universe

so vast? Why are we so small?

Call and response through the night.

My whole life I have sent

these questions into space. And

listened for response.

Then sky wakens and star song fades.

Humans forget mystery and get on with living.

But the stars, the stars

keep calling. No response.

Why is it that we call to 

stars with science and insignificance?

On the next bright night,

find the clear air and ask again.

Humans, ask again. Who are we?

What is our place in mystery?

Perhaps you will hear what I

have heard, a song of inner

radiance.

For the stars

the stars are calling

saying we must

turn to one another

turn to one another and see

finally see

the stars everywhere.

~ Margaret Wheatley

Surviving Cancer ....

But not so sure about surviving my baby brother Legacy's idea of dragging nung-nung around like a stuffed animal :)

Legacy wants my collar!!

"Mom!!! Help me!!!!"

"Wait!!!!!"

Fine ... he can have my collar .. i didn't want it anyway!

"I let my brother think he's king"

Celebration of Life Party!

Getting prepped for
surgery!

Last July I got diagnosed with breast cancer ... mom was quick to find the lump and within a couple days was in surgery to remove that nasty tumor!!! Mom and I went to see an oncologist after my lumpectomy and they said I didn't need any more treatment because it looked like all the cancer was taken out!! Nung-nung was very happy to not have to go through any treatments!!

Well, last Tuesday, mom found out I have cancer again. I had surgery last Friday to remove the lump and lots of nung-nung body parts around the tumor (mom mumbled something to me about 'deep margins') ... so I have a BIG owie. The pathology report comes back on Wednesday or Thursday of this week, but meanwhile I told mom we need to have a big party ... Yes, a Celebration of Life Party for nung-nung!!! I beat this Cancer thing once and I plan to beat it a second time!!

My big party is going to be on Sunday, April 22 and will be held at the Animal Humane Society (Golden Valley, MN) site .. in their multi-purpose room (park in the back of AHS and enter through their Boarding .. my party will be on the second floor) .... party starts at 2:30 PM.

I hope you can join me for my party! Instead of presents, I'm asking that you give a donation (any amount will help) to help fund a spay/neuter clinic up at Leech Lake Reservation ... being a rez dog I really want to help my friends, PLUS my brother Legacy came from Leech Lake Reservation. My friends at Kindest Cut are also organizing a garage sale to raise money for a spay/neuter clinic up at Leech Lake Reservation so you can also bring your donated items to my big bash on 4/22!

If you would like give nung-nung a birthday/celebration of Life present, click here ;-)

Here I am with my surgeon before
he went crazy cutting out my big tumor!

My big owie!

I've had to get my stitches replaced TWICE already ...
they say I have so much and ripples around my neck
that the stitches won't stay ... hmmm,
I think they are getting carried away here!! :)

Rez Dog Play

Rez dog pile:
Zuzu, Nung-nung and Legacy pile!

After Zuzu came for an overnight mom was then asked if she would consider fostering him till he got adopted ... hmmm, I could've told her that was coming!!! :) Well, Zuzu needed to spend some time in our home so that she could learn some dog rules and boundaries and mom was told that I would be a good teacher and role model for her and that she really needed socialization and play time with Legacy. If there's a pup that can teach another pup about the art of playing it's my brother Legacy!! He taught me how much fun it is to play ... every morning we play. I just have to share him with our foster sister Zuzu and that's okay. Zuzu has been with us for a couple weeks now in what mom is now calling the Pack Style Puppy Rehabilitation program. Zuzu had to learn not to be protective of her food and that when mom puts her hand in her food bowl it's a good thing; she also had to learn that she can't make a mad dash for the food bowl at dinner time ... like the rest of us, she has to sit and wait till mom tells her it's okay to eat. She's a smart little girl and she's learned quickly. Mom has also been taking her for lots of puppy outings (like she did with Legacy and the other two pups she fostered) ... she's no longer scared or skittish and is much more confident. She loves going to Chuck & Don's Pet Food Outlet and over the weekend she even got a bath at Bubbly Paws! She got a great application in from a young couple and tomorrow night they are going to meet her ... so, it's possible the sweet little pup is going to be adopted soon and will have her own forever home! :)

For now, we keep teaching her and I keep playing ... well, I LOVE LOVE LOVE my brother Legacy and we play so hard together and we snuggle up and sleep together a lot.  Here's a video of us playing chase. Mom is amazed that I can run so fast ... and the little squirt, well ... he still can't catch me!!

and here's one of the 3 of us playing .. 

Zuzu comes for a visit ...

Halloween --- Zuzu style!

A few days ago mom tells me that we are having an overnight visitor ... this little puppy, Zuzu, who was rescued also from Red Lake reservation. She's up for adoption through Act V Rescue & Rehabilitation. Mom was asked to keep her for the night. Yes, this little pup needs some needed socialization and to learn how to interact and play with other dogs and to not be afraid. Hmmm .... there isn't a better place than our home with our pack of 4! Mom is told ... she's a little snarly and protective of her food (no problem, nung and mom can work with her on that!); she runs around like a nervous puppy and doesn't stop (we can fix that too!); and she's afraid of big dogs, especially big black dogs (ahh ... nung-nung can fix that too! We have lots of big black dogs here and nung-nung can be the first to show her that we're very nice dogs and won't hurt her).

We loved having her stay and she was like a new puppy after just 24 hours. When she first met me she just came right up to me and sniffed me. Mom tells me all the time that I am such a calm dog and that I have such an influence on other animals and also people. What do i think??? Well, i'm just nung-nung :) Legacy and Zuzu loved each other and played so hard. It was good for both of them. Zuzu also got to meet Mister who is so good with puppies. You should've seen Mister when mom was crazy and brought 13 puppies to the house to foster!!! Mister just knows to take things slowly with Zuzu. Zuzu got to watch Legacy and Mister playing and also saw how Legacy and I play. Mom says it's important for her to have good role models. Zuzu didn't get to meet Missy yet ... but something tells me Zuzu will be coming back. I think our home is a perfect home for rehabilitation and socialization for the puppies.

Here's a video 12 hours after Zuzu arrived!!!

Zuzu arrives ... the Rez Dogs!

Legacy and Zuzu .. a kiss???